1. |
Little Holes
01:19
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Little Holes are forming in my skin, i can't go outside like this.
I'm getting digested by every little kiss.
But I'll let my skin dissolve, if it means we'll stay involved
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2. |
Your Jaw
03:32
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Dear mom I missed you last week, probably because you were sitting next to me. And I don’t like thinking about the day when you are not around, but I have to now.
Last night I met a guy who’d been hit by a car. He was supposed to die but he was sitting on a couch arm. Then he went out for a smoke and it felt like a cruel joke, cuz even as a kid you never did.
I bet he’d choke if he saw when they broke your jaw.
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3. |
Safeway
03:18
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Ari dropped out of school and hasn’t left his room for almost two years now. He’s telling me about how his throat burns when he sings for too long, but that he cant stop writing love songs.
And beluga whales that are raised in captivity strain vocal chords to try to mimic human speech.
Singing causes ari pain, but he does it every day cuz if you hear him sing your name you might come and take him away.
The suicide hotline picks up every time which is a lot more than I can say for mine. And when his dog died I was afraid, cuz I didn’t hear from him for a few days.
And I stayed up watching that documentary of Daniel Johnston, who was desperately searching for love.
Ari takes six pills a day, but if you say his name he make it to the safeway which is almost 10 blocks away.
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4. |
||||
You gave mike your old blue car, and he drove it fast. When you got back from the hospital he tried to give it back.
The last time you stayed with us, you left a shirt in my room. The next time that I saw you, I tried to give it back to you.
It scares me when you give me things.
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5. |
Scratch and Sniff
02:57
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I remember when Alex broke his arm falling off the monkey bars. I could hear his screams across the yard. watching him leave was the hardest part.
I wish I could scratch and sniff every picture that you're in, cuz that’s what I'm having trouble remembering.
You came to me in a dream. You had my liver and kidney, and you wanted to give them back to me. when I woke I couldn’t breath.
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6. |
Garden
02:48
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What are you up to right now? I’m free if you want to hang out. There’s some people coming over to my house, so I think I might leave. And you’re the only one that I don’t use slang around, and I don’t have too much to complain about, cuz in the garden we put our fingers in the ground and we pull up leaves.
And with all the confidence that accompanies a dancer, I saw Elizabeth patiently wait for an answer
I keep saying “sorry Elizabeth”, and I wonder how long till you’re sick of it, cuz I know I lose you a little bit every time you say:
“What are you up to right now? When are we going to hang out? I can pick you up from your house…oh well that’s okay, maybe another day.”
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7. |
Amusement Park
02:49
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At the amusement park I work the tilt-a-whirl till dark. I wear a polo and a hat, i clean vomit with a rag. But i can push a button and make you laugh, and there is a power in that.
i swear i'd never hurt a fly, ask anybody in my life. But i can push a button and make you cry. And that power is mine. I want this power all the time.
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8. |
Working Out
02:41
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harrison is half naked again, and i can't stop staring at him. because he looks more comfortable than i have ever been. Can't help but wonder if my life would be different if i was a skinny kid.
kids are cruel, i left my shirt on in the pool, and then after school i did push ups in my room. Maybe one day I'll be able to go shirtless in front of my friends without getting nervous and thinking,
"Maybe if i start working out, thing's will start working out"
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9. |
Maire
04:08
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Maire says the ground from up here, it looks bruised. Maire said we're reflected in the moon. she can't take a deep breath when she needs to. but maire says when she reads, she can breath.
Maire says it looks harder than it looks. And Maire's head, though she doesn't know it yet, is filled with books.
she can't take a deep breath when she needs to. but maire says when she reads, she can breath.
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10. |
Mood Ring
03:53
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I'm gunna start wearing a mood ring, so i can tell you how I'm doing when you ask. Cuz i've been dealing with this new thing where i feel like I'm losing to every car that drives past.
and I'm learning how to play solitaire, and i thought maybe we could play it together. I've never had the courage to change my hair, but if you think it'd look better I'll do it.
I don't know if i like you this much or if i just like your blood. Either way it's turning into a crush, and I'm still learning how to love for now.
Im gunna make you start wearing a mood ring, so i check it when we do things with your friends. To see if u still think I'm amusing, or if there's part of you that I'm losing like i said.
And i already learned how to play solitaire, i don't think i need your help anymore. I took your scissors and i cut my hair, and i left the clippings all on your floor for you to clean up.
I don't know if i like you this much, or if i just like your blood. Either way it's turning into a crutch, i think i need to not be touched for awhile.
and if you tell me youre not hurt. I'll stop trying to tread water. I was trying to break your heart, and i think i knew that from the very start.
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11. |
Casper
02:41
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Called you to say went shopping today. I bought a hat and thought that this fall could be a new slate. I know that it's too late, but I'm starting to pick up when friends call.
garrett and asher call me casper when i start acting like a ghost. the kind of laughter where your back hurts is something that I'm starting to know.
I'm tearing up to Lutra, and because I'm full of love. I'm tearing up.
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